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2015-08-25.to-the-one-longing-to-be-seen

Sometimes it is just hard, this mothering thing. It is hard to be responsible for the shaping of little people. Making sure they not only survive to adulthood, but thrive and grow into functional, healthy adults. The kind of adult you want to be around. It goes without being said, motherhood is worth it. But sometimes it is hard. Beyond the worry and long nights and work of raising children, it is hard to go unnoticed. To not be seen.

Connection with others is proportionate to how much we are accepted by others as we are seen for who we truly are. In every profession, there is some form of a performance review, usually happening twice a year. You and your manager sit down and talk about you and your performance. The things you did that were awesome. The areas you want to grow. The places needing more work. It can be an encouraging and validating process to know all the hard work you have done has been seen. You have been noticed.

But the job of mom doesn’t come with an annual performance review, and I want you to know all you do has been noticed. Day by day you give of yourself when there is nothing left to give. The world lays heavy on your shoulders some days. Fear whispers all your inadequacies in your ear. Guilt, it seems, is every mother’s bedfellow. What mother doesn’t feel some guilt at times?

Mom, you are in the thick of it every day. Your kids see your foibles and faults, but they also see your love and loyalty. There is no hiding behind a social media persona in a family. I mean, you don’t shower or go to the bathroom in private. You are constantly on display for your children to see.

But there is something I want you to know. I see you. I see the struggles. I see the sacrifice. I see the worry. I see the fear. But I also see the love. I see the child curling up in your lap, knowing there is no place safer. Love that is deeper and truer and shows us a little bit of heaven.