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What I Want My Daughter to See When She Looks at Me

by Rachel


September 12, 2013

What I Want My Daughter to See When She Looks at Me

Hello, Darling…

As I watch my daughter grow and develop and I see the wonder of what her little body can do and the potential her life holds, I am met slap-faced with the realization that what I want my daughter to see when she looks at Mommy and what I see when I look at myself are miles apart.

How I see me: Fat. I’d like to sugar-coat but let’s be honest that is the first word I think of.
How I want my daughter to see me: As someone who uses her body to bring life and joy to our home and family.

How I see me: Inadequate. There isn’t enough of me to go around and in the end someone is always being shortchanged.
How I want my daughter to see me: As someone wise enough and strong enough to say “no” to good things so that she can invest in the best things.

How I see me: Struggling. It feels like my temper and my emotions are constantly getting the better of me.
How I want my daughter to see me: As someone who loves with every ounce of her being and recognizes the value of relationships over the inconveniences of living with imperfect people.

The reality is that I do need to lose a few pounds so that I can be a healthy influence in my daughter’s life. I do have commitments that sometimes make me feel stretched and torn. I do live in a home with other people and two dogs and it will never be as clean as I would like. (At this point, any kind of clean would be acceptable.) And I’m a woman with emotions that sometimes get the better of me.

I don’t want to hide these struggles from my daughter but I want to be an example of keeping first things first. Of being a person who appreciates what she has, while working to be a better me. I want her to see me as someone who relies on God for strength to overcome my fears and face my challenges head on so that ultimately, when my daughter looks at me, she sees him.

Related topics: rachel, perfection, identity, beauty

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quand je lis ces critiques c’est vraiment épuisant, merci le web ! Mon site de remises :


Thank you for sharing, Rachel. Beautifully written. We have to remember to please God first and then HE will take the reigns.. he will wash away all of the feelings of inadequacies we have and help us battle our struggles. :)


Thanks for being so candid! I could hear myself in what you had to say. It helps to know that these struggles are common ones. I have been talking with my kids about my own humanity and God's love for me, and for them, in spite of it. We do a lot of asking for and receiving forgiveness. Thank goodness God gives us infinite chances. God has been reminding me that it is how He sees me that counts most, and He loves me (and you, and our kids) more than we could ever imagine. He does not make mistakes, and you were meant to parent your kids, and He made you just how he saw fit. Hang in there and thank you so much for sharing!!


I believe if you're as self aware as you sound to be, you are already showing her God in all you do. I tell my lil one, only 17 months, hey baby, Mommys sorry she wasn't patient or was short with you. I hope you can forgive me. I'm in the habit of being aware of my actions and making her aware, even if I was wrong. I feel I owe that to her as I would to any other human being. If you truly long to be an example, a reflection of God, you will be, and God knows your heart. So, don't give up, stay grounded in His word, and remember, reflecting God's love doesn't mean we have to be perfect, just that in all we do we do our best to point to the only One who is. Jesus. Be real, be honest, be loving, be humble, be gracious (even to yourself) and keep being a great Mom. God bless all Moms, you do an amazing job that no one else could do. xox


I love this! If it makes you feel any better know that every woman, every bring has at least a struggle right?:). One thing I once heard and continuously practice in our home: give your child the gift of imperfection.:) I know it goes against all odds of Chrstianity but she will learn so much from you if you allow yourself to just be real but accepting of your rough edges. As she grows you can share how God is working on ya. Meanwhile, reciting much of Proverbs over you as a prudent and self controlled woman/wife and over your child will provide positive affirmation your brain needs to hear. After all we are are worst enemies right? Gods word IS transforming. I see it in my life as I have struggled in the past with anger. He has freed me from it. I am NOT perfect, but much more tolerant and gracious:) When I slip, At times daily, I quickly get up and receive His grace for me. I think she already sees Him through you:)