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By Beth Jusino, MOMSense editor
Do the moms in your MOPS group seem older than you think a “new mom” should look? There’s a good reason for that. Women are waiting longer to have children. Today, the average age of a woman having her first child is twenty-five. When MOPS first began in 1973, that age was twenty-one.
Today’s brand new mom was born in 1978. After Kennedy and Nixon. After Ozzie and Harriet. And after “the modern era” was long over; postmodern culture has shaped today’s parents for their entire lives.
Families changed dramatically during the Baby Boomer era in the ‘70s and ‘80s – television brought consumerism right into the living room, divorce skyrocketed, and mothers discovered that they could have a career and a home. Cultural and generational changes continue, as the torch of motherhood is passed from one generation to another.
Does this really matter? After all, isn’t mothering (and MOPS) the same, no matter what year we were born? Perhaps, but the world we grow up in affects our perspectives and even the ways we feed, train, and discipline our children. In order to provide an atmosphere in MOPS that nurtures every mother of preschoolers to the glory of Jesus Christ, it’s important to understand mom-culture and adapt your group to trends.
An emphasis on family. In the past decade, American culture appears to have re-emphasized the family, especially children. Forty percent of new parents today were raised by divorced or separated parents. As the first generation of latchkey kids, many moms are willing to sacrifice to offer their children a different kind of life. Moms choose work outside the home less often after having a child, but with opportunities to work from home becoming more common, the lines between “working” and “stay-at-home” mom are blurring. Moms can drive car pool and answer calls from clients on their cell phones.
Concerns about money. Chances are that the moms in your MOPS group are struggling financially. Twenty- and thirty-year-olds today are in the first generation since the Civil War that is unlikely to match their parents’ economic fortune. They came of age in a time when average salaries were dropping across the board. Yet the ease and popularity of debt – credit cards, mortgages, car loans – and a consumer culture that demands certain luxuries, adds to the financial pressure on moms.
Self-awareness. There’s a perception that the mothers of the ‘50s and ‘60s were Martyr Moms – women who gave up their own identities to be Mom, period. Then the Boomers proved that women could be Mom Plus – mom plus career, mom plus social life, mom plus a distinct identity. In general, twenty-first century moms want to nurture their children, but these moms are also striving to be well-rounded adults who don’t get lost in motherhood. The MOPS message that “moms need to take care of themselves” is completely relevant to this generation of moms.
Desire for community. Today’s parents are transient, often moving far from family or hometown resources. Out of a desire for friendship, emotional support, and community, they build their own “secondary families” of friends and neighbors. Many moms lack relationships with their parents or other elders, leaving them at a loss when it comes to a new baby: Who will teach them to parent? Of course, that’s where MOPS comes in! A MOPS group is uniquely qualified to meet the need moms have for community and mentors.
Internet influence. Nearly everyone has access to computers now, but today’s young parents are the first adults who learned computers at a young age. Today’s parents will in fact turn to the Web for information before they turn to books or other materials. Does your MOPS group have a Web site to help new moms find your group?
Post-Christian Influence. We live in a postmodern, post-Christian world that, for the first time in decades, expresses a growing interest in spiritual things. New parents, who feel responsible for their child’s spiritual life, are especially open to experiencing God in unique and personal ways.
And that’s the point. When you keep your eyes open and pay attention to the women in your MOPS group – who they are and how they see the world - you may find all sorts of opportunities to share Jesus with the people who don’t know him yet.
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(anonymously posted on the MOPS.org Web site)
I feel like a new woman! I want to scream from the rooftops! I just got home from my first MOPS meeting. Boy, did I need that, but I didn’t know it until I got there.
The past two years brought child number two, a move, and me giving up my job to stay home with my children. My daily conversations are made up of “stop kicking your brother,” “leave your brother alone” …You get the picture. Of course, there are TONS of hugs and tickle fests and laughs. But I used to sing rock ‘n roll songs when I cleaned. Now I sing Wiggles songs.
There are no words to describe [realizing] that I’m not the only person who feels this way. I can’t wait until the next meeting. Maybe I can get through a cup of hot coffee. Maybe I can get a craft done. Baby steps may be baby steps, but for me MOPS seems like a step in finding ME.
And even though MOPS is not “in your face” religious, I get to reconnect with my faith to boot.
Thanks, MOPS, from the bottom of my peanut butter and jelly handprint-covered heart.
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