You’re a Better Wife than You Think You Are
by Kathi Lipp
If you’ve chosen to read an article with that title, then let me tell you: You’re a better wife than you think you are!
Really. Someone who wasn’t interested in improving her marriage would have skipped right over an article with that title. But you have chosen a different route. You were brave enough to say to yourself: “Somewhere, someone thinks I’m doing something right. Please God, let her be correct!”
Having kids at home can suck all the life force out of you. Kids can remember the lyrics to a thousand of their favorite songs and all of the stats for the local hockey team, but cannot remember to bring home their homework even if their mother’s life depended on it.
My days were filled with carpools and dioramas. And my husband? He got the sloppy seconds. (And the stink eye if the thought of any monkey business even crossed his brain.) So I did what a lot of you do: just enough to keep him satisfied, (and never saying aloud that I would rather eat cut glass than to put on lingerie). At least I had the decency to feel bad about what I wasn’t doing.
And let me tell you: Sometimes, that’s a good thing. Here are three things to remember when it comes to combining marriage and kids:
Feeling Bad Means You’re a Good Wife
It’s good to walk around with the knowledge that you could be doing more. This motherhood thing is just a stage when you are as strung out as a contestant on “Survivor” who hasn’t slept in three days and has had a steady diet of bugs. Life will not always be like this. Give yourself a break.
No Other Wife is as Good (or as Bad) as She Seems
Yes, your friend may be more expressive than you are – she is the annoying person who had her kids dress up as cupid for her husband’s Valentines card. Ugh. (And we all secretly know she did that more for the pictures she could post on Facebook than she did for her husband.)
We’re only allowed on the front porch of our friend’s lives – not into the messy back room where they hide their annoying habits and control issues.
Figure Out What Your Husband Needs (and then do it)
Most husbands don’t want elaborate mystery dates or expensive gifts. Sex a couple of times a week, a few decent meals and being nice to his mom is the bare minimum for most guys. Yes – occasionally kick it up a notch with his favorite meal or a Post-it note with “I’m proud of you!” on it and you’re golden. But remember, it usually takes very little to make a man happy.
You are probably doing 80 percent of this stuff right now. If you’re having a hard time figuring out what you’re doing right as a wife, ask a friend. I promise, a good friend will give you the extra boost you need to know that you’re better than you think you are.
Kathi Lipp is a speaker and the author of the book Praying God’s Word for Your Husband being released by Revell in June 2012. For more great advice about making the most of your marriage, go to her author page at facebook.com/kathilipp.author