by Heidi Cox
I was in the kitchen doing dishes when I heard my husband reading David and Goliath, yet again, to my boys, ages three and four. My husband read about small but valiant David, who had faith that anything was possible. With God’s strength, he overcame one of most infamous villains of all time. Even though my boys have heard this story countless times, their excitement never wavers. I heard their eager words erupt as they talked about how huge Goliath was and how big his sword and spear were and, “Look! Now he’s dead!” They not only love the story, they believe it – every single word.
As I stood in the kitchen listening, I thought, At what point did I stop believing in a God who could slay an evil giant? Sure, I read the Bible stories to my boys, I pray with them and I tell them about a God who is so powerful He can do anything. But as much as I tell my children about the faithful men and women of the Bible, it’s been a long time since I’ve applied that kind of faith to the giants in my own life.
So what are my personal Goliaths that I have stopped believing God can overcome? Fear, guilt, anger and depression, to name a few. Instead of believing God can defeat these crushing enemies, I have come to accept them as part of my life. Over the years, I have allowed pain, bitterness, failure and disappointment to seep into my soul and color my view of God. Instead of believing that God can accomplish the impossible in me, I have settled for a mediocre faith. Too often I pray with a half-hearted hopefulness, not really believing God has the power to change my life. And sooner or later, my children are going to see the discrepancy between the stories I read and the life I live.
Jesus said in Mark 9:27, “Everything is possible for him who believes.” He was speaking to a father whose son was possessed by an evil spirit. So today I made a decision. I chose to believe that God still wants to do miracles in my life. And I prayed the same prayer the father spoke to Jesus: “I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief!”
Now, I know that doesn’t mean God is some genie in a bottle who, with a nod of his head, will remove all my problems. I also realize it takes time to build up to the faith of someone like David. But I can start by choosing to take steps of faith in areas where I have allowed the giants to reign.
So today I choose to believe that I can have victory over the anger that erupts at my family when I am feeling exhausted. Today I believe that God completely forgives and forgets when I royally mess up at this mothering thing. Today I believe that God has great, even miraculous things planned for my family, instead of fearing all the ‘what-ifs’ about myself, my husband and my children. Today I believe that the Spirit of joy and peace can reign in my heart, even in the midst of struggles and conflict.
The next time I read David and Goliath to my boys, I will look at their eager, believing faces. And I will choose to have the same child-like faith. I will remember that the God who used a little shepherd boy to defeat a giant is the same God who can do miracles in my life, too.