by Kimberly J. Garrow
This is the story of Gimpy — a very special rabbit. Be warned: This tale does not have a happy ending. In fact, by the end of this story there will be no tail at all.
Gimpy was not always called “Gimpy.” He came into the world as a normal bunny — a chocolate-covered rabbit, to be exact.
Then one day she came along: a PMS-ing mama who was desperately in need of chocolate. The voices in this mommy’s head grew louder and louder, demanding that her craving be met at any cost. After the woman had finished off all her sweet stash of treats, secretly hidden from young prying eyes, she was still in dire condition. She needed a chocolate fix. And she needed it now!
On top of the refrigerator, colorful Easter grass was peeking out of a basket. She quickly retrieved the wicker handle and giddily looked at the contents inside. Then she saw the box: Gimpy, who at this point was still Peter, Peter Cottontail. It was love at first sight for her. After all he was dark — and rich.
Her mother’s guilt immediately started nagging at her. Wasn’t the love she had for her poor child, the true owner of this candy bunny, more powerful than her yearning for chocolate? Shh, she whispered to her guilty conscience; it wouldn’t hurt to just look. She removed the rabbit and another voice countered, The child probably doesn’t even remember about the basket and its contents here … Go on and take a bite.
The woman nibbled slightly at the ears, equally on both sides to balance the two. She tried to convince herself that no one could tell that anything was amiss. Some bunnies had short ears — didn’t they? And if she generously licked over the areas she had eaten, the teeth marks faded drastically. She then moved down to the paws — little bites. Oops, one suddenly disappeared, then another. She had a grand idea, however. She quickly took a permanent marker and wrote on the box, “Gimpy, a very special bunny.” No one would ever suspect a thing. She placed Gimpy back into the box and tried to resist the voices in her head.
It worked for a while … only because she was now out of milk. And the hormonally imbalanced woman had it on expert authority that eating chocolate without milk would be violating laws in at least 32 states and international law in 10 countries. She finally resigned herself to the fact that it was no use to resist any longer. She drove to the store, bought some milk and then savored every last morsel of Gimpy — a very special bunny indeed. He was loved until the very end, never to be forgotten.
Hey, I think Gimpy had an offspring — is that a Cadbury egg?
Kimberly J. Garrow is the mother of six children and author of A Mother’s Journey: Through Laughter and Tears, (kimgarrow.webs.com).