By Ocieanna Fleiss
I heard it first at Starbucks. I ordered “calm” tea (needed it). When the barista, a cute, funky little thing, dropped in the teabag, she forgot to secure the string. The tail landed ploink in the hot water. “I’m a little brain dead today,” she said. “But don’t worry, I’m amazing.” She smiled mischievously (not unlike my 2-year-old son). “A little conceited,” she added, “but amazing.”
I traipsed to my table, and as I sat cherishing my alone time, she had the other baristas giggling. “I’m amazing,” she repeated, flitting from one task to the next. Later that night, my husband snickered at me for knocking over a glass of water on my nightstand. With supreme confidence, I rolled over, whacked him with my pillow and said, “I’m amazing.” It felt really good. So I found opportunities to say it again and again. All week I flaunted my “amazingness.” My husband actually liked the confidence I showed.
Maybe because I don’t feel amazing all the time, saying it out loud helped me remember the amazing person I am. And truth is, I am amazing. Look at everything I do as a mom. (And think about all you do, too.)
I’m a runny-nose wiper, boo-boo kisser, teardrop-blotter, mac-and-cheese cooker, dolly-fixer, jammie-zipper, Lego-picker-upper and on and on and on. But more importantly, it’s my job to mold young characters.
I strive to train my wee ones to be kind, polite and responsible and to trust God. I attempt to build their confidence by loving them. I snuggle on the sofa reading “Guess How Much I Love You” one more time. I shower them with “Great jobs!” and “You did its!” I kneel on the carpet constructing block castles for Cinderella and bat caves for caped crusaders. After every exhausting day, I hold my children in my arms and send up prayers, then kiss them good night . . . night after night. Sound familiar?
Yep, I’m amazing.
But then … I have a bad day. Hormones might trigger it or an irritable word at breakfast with my husband. Before I know it, I’m growling, grumping and even yelling at the kids. Amazing? Not me.
On one such rotten day, I got my four kids pottyed, washed, shoed and jacketed (a pleasant experience for all of us — ha!). Then we scrambled into the minivan for a trip to the grocery store. I hollered, “Settle down!” countless times and issued a final warning, “Don’t make me pull this car over!” Then I threw in a kids’ Scripture CD, thinking it would help them behave. And I heard this: “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.” PSALM 139:14 (NASB)
Then it hit me. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I do better. But whether I’m being a crummy mom or the perfect mom doesn’t change who I am. God made me — fearfully and wonderfully. That’s why I’m amazing.
And so are you!
Ocieanna Fleiss is an amazing mommy of four and serves in her MOPS Group in Auburn, Washington. She has written and edited for several publications.
This article originally appeared in the May/June 2007 issue of MomSense magazine.