 |
 |
|
| Broken People, Beautiful Lives
by Christine Geerts
“When suffering shatters the carefully kept vase that is our lives, God stoops to pick up the pieces. But he doesn’t put them back together as a restoration project patterned after our former selves. Instead, he sifts through the rubble and selects some of the shards as raw material for another project – a mosaic that tells the story of redemption.”
~ Ken Gire
 Brokenness has been a part of my life since I was a child. Abandoned by my father at age 3 following my parents’ divorce, I was raised by my young, single mother. I felt alone, sad and broken during most of my growing up years.
As a young adult, I believed my life could be redeemed by creating a new life with someone else, and I became obsessed with having the “perfect” marriage and family. I held on to this fantasy even after my marriage began to crumble and our daughter, Katie, was born. But I couldn’t accept my brokenness or my contribution to our marital problems, and we divorced. I’d made the same mistakes as my parents and had become the person I’d tried to avoid becoming: a single mother.
There are no perfect formulas to follow for reshaping broken lives. Like the mosaic art technique — opus palladianum that uses irregularly shaped pieces — people’s lives are not laid out in a regular, predictable pattern. Families do fall apart, but broken people can be used to create new family masterpieces.
Once I accepted my failures, I realized I could begin again beyond my divorce. As the pieces of my life lay broken on the floor, I let God in to do his work in my life. I chose a new path, one that has transformed me into a better person.
Eventually I remarried and so did my ex-husband. And within a year our daughter had two sets of parents in two states. She went from being an only child to having siblings in both homes. At the tender age of 6, she embraced all of her parents and was thrilled to have sisters. But as her parents, we had to work hard at accepting our new relationships.
My husband got a “package deal” with a ready-made family when we married and had to quickly learn how to co-parent a stepchild. But it was harder for my ex-husband, who had to realize he was no longer the only father in his daughter’s life. We all struggled initially, and some days still do, to create healthy relationships for the sake of the children involved.
In her Colorado home, Katie has a stepdad, a sister and twin brothers, while her Kansas family includes her dad, stepmom Terri, three sisters and a brother.
My daughter’s relationship with Terri has grown over the years and so has mine. The first time I met Terri I felt ridiculously nervous and not excited. But I needed to know the woman who would be helping shape my child’s life.
At first I focused on our differences. Terri came from a solid home with parents who are still married. She had many advantages growing up that I didn’t. She was called “the golden child” because of her success. I was intimidated by her medical degree and threatened by the strong influence she had on my ex-husband. She was beautiful, inside and out, and my daughter loved her. I wanted to find fault in Terri but couldn’t. She was a genuinely nice person, someone I could have befriended.
She also was like me in some ways, ashamed of her divorce and hurting over losses in her life. Her vulnerability allowed me to experience an immediate connection with her. But I doubt that showed. Our connection has become increasingly important as we navigate through co-parenting Katie — 500 miles away from each other.
For the first time, Katie is now living with her dad and stepmom. We’re creating something new from the broken pieces in our lives — something we hadn’t planned, but we hope it will be beautiful in Katie’s life. It was a risk for me to let Katie go; and it was a risk for Terri to take her in. Hopefully, we’re showing our children that broken people can still create beautiful lives.
Christine Geerts lives in Colorado with her husband, Ryan, their two daughters and identical twin boys. She finds community as a MOPS mom and Co-Coordinator of Family In Christ MOPS group in Colorado and is the Marketing and PR Coordinator at MOPS International. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
