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No Mom Alone
by Liz Selzer, Leadership Development and Events Strategist

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. DO what it says. James 1:22

This Bible verse implores us to take action on what we know, to become active followers of Jesus. Doing is our way of saying we agree and believe in what the Bible says. God knows how forgetful we are and how easily we can slip into routines that leave him out of our thoughts and actions. If we say we know Jesus we need to act like it, to be a reflection of him to the world.

So what gets in our way of taking steps forward? Of not merely hearing the word but of doing it?

There is a reason or maybe a number of reasons why you have not taken on a given challenge in your life - one that you feel a tug to try but you haven’t gotten around to it yet. A challenge that you have identified, or maybe someone else has identified, or maybe God has put on your heart, and yet you haven’t taken any steps forward on that challenge.

Maybe you have wanted to become healthier, or maybe you want to be more out going, maybe you want to try leading in a more direct way, or maybe you want to learn how to talk to others about the hope you have found in Jesus. You want to do it, but for some reason you just haven’t taken any steps forward to do it - maybe you are just seeing the need, maybe you were not in a place to try it before, maybe you have been nervous to do so, maybe there has been little support for you to take a step forward, maybe time crunches have it edged out.

Whatever the reason, let’s look at ways to take the first steps toward working on the challenge:

• Identify sources of fear
• Take hold of courage
• Step forward with passion

Identify Sources of Fear

We may be prone to a number of fears, based on our roles in life:

• Woman fears and barriers: Growing old, effects of gravity, failure, not acting with integrity, loosing parents, disappointing people, criticism, cancer, husband having an affair
• Mom fears and barriers: Potty training, sucking thumb too long, right preschool, really messing up my child with something I did that could have been prevented, or a sickness that is long term
• Leader fears and barriers: Can I really lead? Do I have time/can I follow through with this commitment? Am I neglecting my family? My friend/family don’t support me, what about my past? What if no one comes? What if none of my MOPPETS workers show?

When I was a mother of preschoolers, I was working with youth at our church. I loved working with these kids, was passionate about it. I knew I didn’t have the religious training I needed, but I went week after week without doing anything about it.

Identifying exactly what it is that keeps me from working on a challenge is helpful in making room for taking the first step. Often what is keeping me is something I am afraid of, whether that is fear of the loss of approval, fear that I might look stupid, fear in the unknown, fear that I can’t control the outcome, fear that once I begin working on the challenge I can’t go back to the way things were if it doesn’t work out, fear that it will be too difficult, take too much time or energy - fill in the blank for yourself. If you can name it, you can do something about it.

My passivity stemmed from a fear of taking the next steps it might take to get that degree. I would have to find the money, a sitter for my kids, and worse–I didn’t want to fail! I had been out of school for a long time. It was easier to remain passive day after day than deal with the fear.

Write your challenge down. Now identify what has or could get in the way of you working on your challenge.

Fear response is normal and created by God. The problem hits when it begins to control our lives. Being careful is called for, being fearful is not.

I finally did calculate the risk. The money and the babysitter could be figured out. It was more my fear of failure I had to deal with.

We can be careful and not fearful because of who God is and his promise to walk alongside us ("Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5). We can be scared and confident at the same time. God commands us to not be fearful, but he also reminds us why: because he is with us every step of the way. Living and understanding this requires faith, and faith frees us.

Take Hold of Courage

Courage can expand our horizons and allow us to face our challenges and move forward. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the decision to move forward in spite of it.
Courage is a choice.

Courage: face or name your fear and deal with it. What might God be calling you to have the courage to do? Courage to:

• Fail/ not be right
• Love
• Say no
• Say yes
• Speak up
• Not be alone/ engage with others
• Take a risk (understand what it is worth, why)
• Be aware
• Dream bigger
• Let go
• Persevere
• Not be intimidated
• Not give up or lose heart

Are any of these things hitting home? In the challenge you identified, what are you being called to show courage with?

How can we take hold of courage? It starts by taking hold of God’s promises for us. Remember we are loved, delighted in, created by, formed, summoned, recognized, owned by, accepted by, forgiven by, given strength by our God

To remind us of his promises to be with us, read the following verses when you feel discouraged:

• Trust in the Lord - Psalm 37:3
• God is with us - Psalm 91, 121
• He gives power to the faint - Isaiah 40:29
• Renews their strength - Isaiah 40:31
• Created us, formed us, redeemed us, summoned us - Isaiah 43:1-3
• God does not give us the spirit of fear; but of power, and to love, and of sound mind - 2 Timothy 1:7

Courage isn’t something you have to add into your life, you just need to use the courage you have already been given. Courage starts with deciding to not settle with life passively.

Courageous does not mean going forward without fear, it means going forward in spite of it. Why would we do this? Because we have confidence in God. He created us for a reason, and we are the only ones like us in our specific situation and community. Whether that begins with you working on a challenge in your own family, or whether you are ready to step out and work on one related to leadership, or a challenge related to reaching your community in a new way, God wants to work through you!

Step Forward with Passion

How do we find passion? Think about what you're good at, when people have affirmed what you do. These afffirmations indicate gifts of passion.

Think about when something has pulled at your heart. Was it a woman or mom who was a one and had no one? Was it a child who was being abused? When was the last time you had the joy of watching your efforts make a difference in someone’s life? What did that feel like?

Do you have a sense of God’s call on your life? That is a powerful source of passion and all of the above things relate to it. List what you are passionate about; what you have been called to care about. How does this relate to the challenge you have chosen for this time?

I had to find the courage in my passion for the kids I was working with and my belief that God had not only put me there, but would equip me to make it through school so that I could be more effective in sharing about God and his love for them and his work in this world. I was afraid, but knew God would be with me and if I failed, he would love me regardless. I had to hold on to that truth.

How do we fuel it?
Passion ignites passion. Find people who fuel yours, avoid those who try to bring you down. Write down two people who you can talk to about your challenge who will support your growth.

Make a plan to talk with them at least twice over the next two months about your progress. Ask them to be an encouragement to you.

I had to tap into my passion for the kids I loved to work with, and the passion I had felt when working with God to make a difference in kids’ lives. Every time I started to get nervous about going back to school, I reminded myself of this, basked in it, envisioned it, loved it. That passion propelled me forward–to register, to go to the first class, to take the first test and write the first paper, to hang in there until graduation.

Pray about it daily. Over the next two months ask God to enflame your heart with what enflames his. Ask him to show you where you have become more passive than he would like you to be. Ask him to show you how this passion can fuel the work on the challenge you have chosen.

Read Scripture. See the scriptures listed earlier or choose your own.

Involve others. They will be your encouragement and accountability.

Act with one outward action. Make it doable but challenging.

God invites us into his love. Not just God’s big, thick, strong-armed love, the kind that redeems the world, but into what God loves actually. In my quest to fall in love with God for the first time all over again, I decided to do a little search in the Bible as to what God likes and dislikes. When it came to things that God loves, the list shrinks tremendously. In the entire New Testament there is only one verse that clearly and succinctly says what God really loves.

Second Corinthians 9:7 says, “God loves a cheerful giver.”

That little verse says a whole lot, because God isn’t as concerned with the gift as much as he is with the attitude behind the gift. That means that it doesn’t matter whether the gift comes from Wal-mart or Williams-Sonoma. What’s important isn’t even how it’s wrapped (which is a good thing for those of us who stick to the ever ready, ever safe gift bag). God looks at the heart, and he’s looking for a happy one–a person who gives out of joy and overflow rather than out of guilt or fear or even mere obligation.

The Heart of the Gift

God is far more concerned with the heart our gifts than the actual gift. Why? One reason is that when we give joyfully we reflect him. We engage in a part of who he is, what he does, and what he’s all about. Since the beginning, God has been giving, and he’s been doing it with a cheerful heart. Giving is a joy for him and he wants to share that joy with us.

The Wonder of Giving

The invitation to give extends beyond name-brand purchases and well-wrapped gifts from Overstock.com. We are invited to be generous in our relationships. We are invited to partake in the fellowship of love, and give of ourselves through our time, gifts and talents. Ephesians 5:1-2 goes as far as to say, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

The Invitation is Imitation

God demonstrated how he wants us to live through Jesus, not as people living merely for ourselves, but as those living for something greater. We are generous in our relationships when we choose inclusion over exclusion, forgiveness over a grudge, and righteousness over merely being right. It’s in our relationships where we get down and dirty in the practice of giving. It’s in our relationships that we’ve been given another opportunity to reflect and further resemble God.

How does joy become a natural extension of our giving? It isn’t just embracing the reality that everything is God’s. That’s true. But cheerful giving goes one step further. It recognizes God as provider not just in belief but in action. It moves us from merely acknowledging the words, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it (Ps. 24:1)” to actually living it.

Why do you think God loves a cheerful giver so much?

What types of situations prevent you from giving generously?

In what ways does giving require you to be courageous?

Giving generously will always require you to be courageous! Here are some things you can try.

1. Utilize a concordance to do a word study on the “generosity.” What does the Bible have to say about being generous? What areas of our lives are we supposed to be generous in? What are the rewards of generosity? Take notes as you study and share at least one thing you’re learning with a friend. Consider using Facebook to share some of what you’re discovering!
2. Spend some reflective time in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal someone in your life who you may harbor something specific against. Maybe you’ve had a disagreement. Maybe the relationship has turned cold or sour.
• Take some time pray for this person and verbally bless the person out loud in prayer. Then, ask God for wisdom on a practical way you could reflect God’s generous heart to this person. You may choose to send fresh flowers, offer to babysit, or surprise the person with their favorite Starbucks drink. You’ll probably have to muster some courage to show this kindness and generosity–that’s a good thing. Afterward, reflect on how the experience changed your relationship with this person and more importantly, how it may have changed you.
3. Sometimes we aren’t as generous as we could be simply because the opportunity to make a difference or show kindness isn’t comfortable to us. A generous expression may require us to try something new, submerse ourselves in an activity that we’re not naturally good at, or surround with people who are different than us. Expanding our bandwidth of generosity requires courage.
• Look for an opportunity to express God’s kindness and generosity in a specific way that doesn’t make you feel comfortable. Head into the inner city. Stop by a retirement home. Spend an afternoon with a hammer and gloves at a Habitat for Humanity house. Show up on a neighbor’s doorstep fresh baked cookies and iced tea. Prayerfully consider a generous act that requires you to be courageous and go for it!
4. Living with courageous generosity isn’t just about giving but also receiving. For many of us, giving can become a place of strength, a role we assume, a part of the job description of being a good mom, a good leader, or a good wife. Yet generosity includes receiving help, assistance, and gifts graciously. Over the course of the next three days, pay attention to how many times you decline or refuse someone who offers to help you. Maybe someone offers to carry your grocery bags to the car, pick up a Starbucks on the way to the office, or simply wait with you in a moment of unexpected delay. After three days of watching your own natural response to these situations, choose to say “Yes” to people to offer to help, serve or give to you. It may feel unnatural. The sources of kindness may be unexpected or even previously overlooked. Record how this exercise affected you in a journal. Consider how giving and receiving are linked. Which are you naturally better at? Which do you need to become better at? How does receiving increase your humility, sense of community, and the presence of God in your life?

--Adapted from The Organic God

No Mom Alone Courage Challenge

Pray about it daily. Over the next few months ask God to enflame your heart with what enflames his. Ask him to show you where you have become more passive than he would like you to be. Ask him to show you how this passion can fuel the work on the challenge you have chosen.

Read Scripture. Look at the scriptures related to giving.

Involve others. They will be your encouragement and accountability

Act with one outward action. Make it doable but challenging