The Daily Adventure
By Elsa Fluss

If motherhood is anything, it’s an adventure — like a rafting trip, complete with waterfalls. Like the time I was 26 weeks pregnant, I had the flu, and my 18-month-old got into the container of flour in the kitchen. She looked like a ghost until I vacuumed her off. Then there was the time when my 6-month-old couldn’t keep anything in her system for about 30 hours, including breast milk. Once we got checked in to the ER, though, she nursed and fell asleep like nothing was wrong. And, of course, there was the Christmas Day when my husband broke a few ribs while sledding. I thought our family’s vacation plans were ruined, but we ended up having fun at home instead.

It has taken me years to realize that these adventures need not be the end of the world, and they definitely don’t have to mean the end of my happiness. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t always enjoy these adventures while they’re happening, but I have discovered a few secrets that help keep me afloat.

Have an escape plan. When I was young, my mom gave me permission to use her as an excuse if I didn’t want to look bad in front of my friends. If I was invited to do something that I didn’t want to do, all I had to say was, “my mom would kill me if I did that” and I was off the hook. When I became a mom, I was amazed at how many people had advice on how to raise my baby. I learned quickly that everyone had their own ideas, and I couldn’t follow everyone’s advice because it all conflicted. After listening to well-meaning advice, I would say, “That sounds like a good idea. This is what my pediatrician and I decided we’d try first, but I’ll keep that in mind.” I have also used my husband, my in-laws and my daughters as excuses. I find it’s easier than arguing with someone who has already made up their mind.

Have an “Emergency Contact List.” We’ve all been through it — whether you’re dealing with an illness, a new baby or a death in the family, there are always well-meaning people who say, “If you need anything, just let me know.” I find it’s almost impossible to think of something I need when the person is standing there. Then later I’ll decide that I really do need help, but I can’t remember who offered it. So I’ve started keeping a list of people who have offered their help. It has everyone from our pastor to our neighbors who moved away. Now when I start to feel like I’m at the end of my rope, I can call on someone for help instead of waiting for them to offer it again.