All About Me?
By Tricia Goyer
When I was in junior high, I decided to play basketball. While I never was a star player (far from it!), I learned a lot about life… and parenting.
“NBA championship teams have something in common: they play with one goal in mind. Each player contributes his own gifts and efforts so that the greater goal–winning–can be reached,” says David Robinson, former NBA Player. “But players who seek their own glory at the sacrifice of their team’s glory drive the team away from success. So it is with life. The goal is not our own glory. In fact, trying to make life ‘all about us’ pushes happiness further out of reach.”
Have you ever known someone who focused on herself or himself at the expense of their team? Or at the expense of their family?
Every once in a while I get into the “It’s all about me” mindset. I need more time for myself. I need more help with my kids. I need to go shopping (even thought my closet is full!)
Unfortunately, whenever I’ve tried just to “make myself happy” I’ve instead discovered it often makes things worse. I start complaining. I get grumpy. And… I start looking at all the problems in my life instead of being thankful for what I have.
It’s the same way with our kids. As a parent you most likely realize your child believes she is the center of the universe. Babies and toddlers only think of their needs and wants, and it’s our jobs to make them consider others.
You also know that for your child’s sake it’s better NOT to give her everything she wants. Can you imagine what your pantry would look like if you let your two-year-old throw whatever she wanted into the shopping cart? Or could you imagine what harm could be done if you let your baby play with everything he sets his mind on, including that small button he found on the floor or the handles on the woodstove. Yikes!
Aren’t we glad that when it comes to what our children want we have the final word. As parents, our children’s happiness is not our first priority. We feed our children nutritious fruits and vegetables because it’s good from them — despite the fact they’d rather have candy. We make our children wear mittens and hats when it’s cold outside — not to make them suffer, but to keep them warm. We hold their hands when crossing the street, not to hold our kids back from fun, but to keep them safe.
It’s easy to come to this realization when it comes to our kids, but what about us? As writer Max Lucado says, “Our comfort is not God’s priority… If God exists to please us, then shouldn’t we always be pleased?”
If it was God’s job to please each person, what would the world be like? What would ‘your world’ be like?
Letting your child focus solely on “self” hurts your family “team.” Spending too much time considering your needs and wants will do the same. Instead, we need to focus on the family God has given us, considering what will benefit our “team” most. It’s also good to realize that when we look to God as our coach, he will always guide us on the path to what’s best for our kids, ourselves, our family and our world. Go team! | 
