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By Cindy Sumner
 One of the first challenges couples face is learning to handle their finances together. Even if you’ve managed your money together amicably before becoming parents, the arrival of children presents new financial concerns that may require a change.
Checking Accounts
In my case, my husband and I began married life with just one joint checking account. A few years (and kids) later, we realized that using only one account wasn’t working for us. We didn’t have time to update our respective checkbooks with each other’s transactions every day, so we never really knew how much we had to spend. Our lack of cooperation, combined with those pesky debit cards, resulted in overspending—and eventually overdrafts.
Wondering if it’s time to “restructure” the way you handle your bank accounts? Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of two possibilities.
One account – A couple has the most control over their finances with one checking account. All of your money is in one place, so it’s easier for you both to see how much is being spent and on what. On the negative side, as my husband and I found, couples with preschoolers may not have enough time to keep each other’s checkbooks up-to-date. Some families may choose to use just one checkbook, which is fine as long as the person without the checkbook doesn’t resort to using a credit card on a regular basis! A final “con” to this method is that the partner who contributes less to the family’s income may feel like they have no money of their own to spend, especially if that partner doesn’t work outside the home.
Two accounts – When each partner has a separate checking account, they can be responsible for their own money, and the choices of how it’s spent. Of course, two accounts make it more challenging to keep track of how much your family spends together in various expense categories. You will also have to spend time negotiating, and renegotiating, how to divide the family’s monthly income between the accounts, and decide who will pay for what. A stay-at-home parent or a partner with a lower income can also be placed in the uncomfortable position of feeling like they are receiving an “allowance” — especially if she has to ask for more money to cover unexpected expenses.
Bill Paying
Another financial task couples wrestle with is bill paying. Who actually pays the bills is irrelevant as long as they are paid on time, and as long as both parties know approximately how much is being spent on monthly expenses and on “extras.” Often the spouse who does not write the checks uses that fact as an excuse to be uninformed about the family’s finances, perhaps because he or she doesn’t feel comfortable with money issues. This situation can put a lot of pressure on the bill-payer!
To ensure that you both are aware of your family’s income and expenses, take turns paying the bills, or sit down and pay them together. Couples should also have a periodic money “summit.” Get together to talk about where you are financially at least every six months (once a month or quarter would be even better). Communication is key in order for couples to share financial responsibility and avoid stressful money squabbles.
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 Cindy Sumner is an author and a former contributing editor for MOMSense magazine. Her book, Dollars & Sense, is a practical, easy-to-understand guide that will help moms discuss and handle finances more effectively. She has written several other books including – Planes, Trains, and Automobiles… for Kids; Time Out for Mom… Aaahh Moments; Mommy’s Locked in the Bathroom: Surviving Your Child’s Early Years with Your Sanity and Salvation Intact; Family Vacations Made Simple; and Mommy’s Trapped in the Minivan: Surviving Your Child’s Middle Years with Your Sanity and Salvation Intact. Cindy lives in Sheldon, Illinois, with her husband John and their three children.
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