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Losing Time and Finding Time

by Shawna Ervin

self

September 8, 2013

Losing Time and Finding Time

I lost my watch last week. I took it off to journal before bed one night and it fell somewhere in the abyss that is the stack of books, notebooks, folders, etc. on my bedside table and the floor.

I didn't even look for it.  I just let it sit there happily lost. Maybe I didn't want to find the time. Maybe I didn't want to let it find me. Maybe I was just too lazy to delve into that mess of books and realize all I hadn’t read this summer.

While it's been lost I've been finding time for things I'd nearly forgotten. More time to play with my kids. Time for my husband. Time to relax with a book or TV, look at a sunset or cloud formation or watch a roly poly walk across the driveway. Without a watch I am less worried about doing things at the time I think is right – lunch is at 11:30, nap time is at 12:30, etc. - and letting things happen at the time that ends up being the right time. We get hungry and we eat lunch or snacks. My daughter gets tired and I know it’s time for a nap.

And play time. When I’m not watching my watch, I find that the kids and I stretch play time longer, look for ways to make for more fun. The other evening I was having so much fun chasing my kids around the back yard pretending to be a big dinosaur that I forgot about dinner. I think we all did.

I am also finding time to be more of me. I'm finding peace in being less of what I should be or think I need to be, and being more of who I was created me to be. I’m taking photos more, writing, reading and spending more quality time. I’m being driven more by what I really want to spend my time doing rather than what I fear I must do if I don’t want to fail as a wife, mother, friend, woman.

Without time pressing on who I think I ought to be, I can just be who I was created to be, let each person in my family be more of who she or he was created to be.

The strange thing since my watch went missing is that we haven’t been late once. We've been on time for school and appointments. But I haven't been as stressed about getting there. When I'm less stressed, so are my kids. Preschool drop-off has been much smoother. The kids are behaving better. I think we're all happier.

Earlier today I cleaned up my book area and found my watch. I took a few photos of it, then put it away. I'm hoping I forget where it is.

 How does time affect you and your parenting? 

Related topics: Perfection, Fear

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