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Circle of Trust

by Jackie

honestly

March 5, 2014

Circle of Trust

Three years ago I had a village. It was one of those seasons where I belonged. I belonged in a way that was deep, intimate. There was a group of us who had decided to do life together. We ate together, learned together, we celebrated together, spent leisure time together, hurt together. We operated out of a philosophy that life is better when we do it together.

Even outside that circle, that season was rich with family and friends and life. It was a season of abundance and my circle was large.

My current season is less of a village and more of a scattered few. Times have changed. Of the relationships in my last season, some are perfectly intact, just distant. Others have been damaged. A few don’t exist at all. But I have my inner circle.

A mostly-intact inner circle, anyway.

This season my relationships have the same intention, but each is more intense, amplified.

Whether the circle be abundant or sparse, relationships provide context for life. It’s where we experience love, humor, anger, grace, purpose, trust, pain. Without relationships, we wouldn’t experience life.

That’s the goal, right? Relationships that are life-giving?

Sometimes you find that person whose heart seems to be knit from the same cloth, understanding and connection are seamless. (Hello, Darling, you’re my kindred spirit.) Then there are others that require intentionally learning to appreciate the other person.

Each of these relationships require their own set of work. One might require intentionally connecting on the deep things, another intentionally learning about the others interest. All require work to constantly relearn the other person as each of you grow.

Maybe your circle of trust is dense and rich and includes all different types of relationships. Maybe it’s sparse. Maybe you’re happy with your current circle of trust. Maybe that’s a place of deep longing. Wherever you’re at, you’re thoughts, questions and hopes are welcome here.

We hope you’ll join us in the conversation this month as we talk about the myriad of relationships in our lives. 

How would you describe your circle of trust right now? Are you satisfied or longing for more?

Share your thoughts

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Reply

After four years in this new place, I am still building my circle of trust. It is time consuming, it is hard, and some days I think "forget it" because my family is enough for me (but it isn't always enough). I am finding my new relationships are segmented -- this friend for biking, that friend for long leisurely lunches, another friend for laugh-until-you-cry conversations. I guess that isn't a bad thing, just different. So thankful I will always have my lifelong friend (albeit a thousand miles away) who can do all these things with me in the rare moments we are together.

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My circle of trust is sparse right now. I am building relationships due to a very long distance move (Alaska to Maryland). I am realizing the friends that I had in Alaska that will be friends for life and I am realizing the ones that were only friends because I was there. I am building a new circle of trust in Maryland. My best friend of over 20 years is still there. She is my kindred spirit-the one I can go months without talking to and pick right back up where we were. I also look forward to our talks whenever we can sneak them in. I am longing for deeper relationships within my immediate family-mom, siblings, nieces, nephews. Those relationships seem to be very strained and I really don't understand why.

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It sounds like we both understand each other's relationship space right now. That deep longing for deeper relationships, and try-as-we-might it's just not happening in a timely enough manner. I sometimes tell myself I can function just fine as a satellite, distant from everyone, but I think it's just an attempt to make myself feel better about where I'm at. Best wishes to you in your journey. And thanks for responding so I know it's not just me. :)

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