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Things to Stop Saying to your Kids and What to Say Instead

by lifehack.org

essentials

October 1, 2014

Things to Stop Saying to your Kids and What to Say Instead
Hello, darlings! The entire editorial team is out hanging out with moms at MOMcon this week, so we prepared for you a handful of fun posts we thought you’d like to see again. We’ll be back with fresh, thought-provoking, adorable and fun content in a few days. Hugs!

The words we say have more meaning than we know. What if small changes in the phrases we use with our kids could change their meaning entirely? lifehack.org put together this list of 5 Things to Stop Saying to Kids and What to Say Instead

And then they put together a second list of phrases that could be improved.

This is list by no means comprehensive, so tell us... 

What are other phrases you find yourself using with your kids that you'd like to find a replacement for? 

 

Related topics: jackie, fear, development, advice, parenting

Share your thoughts

It's your turn to .................even though I have a calendar with their initial on it. I still have to say it several times to get them to do the chore.

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I don't think it's bribing if I say to one of my sons, "If you get your work done, you can have the snack you picked out." That's real world teaching! "If you do your work on the job, then you get the paycheck you want." The one thing I try to avoid is telling my boys they are "bad." Instead I say, "That was a bad choice." They are not bad, but sometimes the stuff they do is bad!

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I think so often just changing how you say something can make a big difference. I'm working on giving more positive affirmation and focusing on what they are doing good with before just jumping to what they messed up or what they need to change.

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How could it possibly ever be bad to tell your children "good job!" I think this article has some valid points, but overall I did not find it to be very helpful. I look at the picture my 4-year-old made & the first words out of my mouth are almost always "Wow, you did a great job" or "I love it". Then I ask him about it. I would never just say...I see red, blue, and yellow...tell me about it. I am always excited and positive about what he worked so hard on creating. I don't see what harm could come from showing your child positive, affirmative reactions to the good things they do. Especially when you are talking about a preschooler. I want my child to grow up knowing that I (and his Dad) am his biggest fan, and that I love him fully and without holding anything back--words, reactions, and actions that are positive and uplifting could never be "incorrect" when it comes to our jobs as parents!

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These are good ideas! I disagree with the idea that bribery is always bad. When used all the time, as the only motivator, sure, that would easily get out of hand. However, adults use bribery daily for themselves ("if I go to the gym early, I can stop at Starbucks!", "If I land the account, we can go on a trip!"...etc). The reward shouldnmt always be why we do something well, but I think it's a very useful tool. And if they choose not to comply with the requested action, they don't get the reward. This is a tough, yet valuable lesson.

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These are all great places to start. We've been trying to valid feelings at our house, because no one can tell you how you feel. I find myself frustrated in the endless crying fit and wanting it to stop, so we give an amount of time that they can continue (this is for the 6 year old who didn't want to go to her room when we got home, and she was wailing and screaming for most of the ride home). She had 5 more minutes to do it, and then she needed to be respectful of others and be quiet. I let her cry (I hated being told to stop crying when I was little) and have her say, but also helped her understand that there were limits on her exasperated attempt to get out of trouble by causing more issues,

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Interesting perspective....I had not thought about a few of these. Although 'Good boy!' is what I say to my dogs so I certainly would not think of saying that to my kids!

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