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self

How to Feel Better-Than-Sexy After Pregnancy

The whole concept of “sexy” makes me wonder if who I am is enough, or if becoming enough is about being . . . sexier? I have no interest in bringing sexy back. Reducing lovemaking to tricks and tips seems shallow and hardly worth shaving my legs. read more

honestly

Being Honest About What I Really Want for Christmas

My husband is not a gift savvy person. Christmas is not a holiday he celebrated growing up. Gift hints go right over his head. One year I blogged about my Christmas wish list. The following year I sent him links, in an email, of gift ideas. I still didn’t manage to get through. read more

honestly

What if you Married the Grinch?

Then I met my husband, who hates Christmas. In fact, he hates the entire month of December — mainly because of a father who nearly every year chose that month to be an abusive drunk. In the early years of our marriage, while I would decorate, he would commiserate. read more

honestly

Courage to Stay Married

We kept our promise. For the last year we've said the hard and good things needing to be said. We don't live in the terse, loud silence anymore. We are us again. But us is irreparably changed, and today I'm so angry about it I can't stop crying on the highway. read more

honestly

I See You

Most marriage advice typically follows two trendy patterns: a list so exhaustive it makes you want to cry, or a takeaway so neatly packaged you'd trust it as much as you'd trust a grimy gold-toothed salesman. read more