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Lady Parts and All Those Things I Haven't Mastered Yet

by Mandy


September 30, 2013

Lady Parts and All Those Things I Haven't Mastered Yet

I feel like there are things about being a woman, an adult and a mom that I should know, but I don’t. It's like I missed the day in high school when all of the teachers shared highly classified information about how to function as an adult. It probably happened during first period Physics when Drea and I decided that our time was better spent listening to REM in her red Toyota Tercel.

Most of the time I can fake my way through life, convincing strangers that I am a fully functioning adult. That is, until a situation arrises that I should be able to maneuver with ease, and I realize I have no idea what I am doing. Like unclogging a toilet or cooking a steak, and those are hard to fake.

Here are a few other parts of adult life that challenge me:

Domestic Parts 

I never have the right kitchen tools. My Mother-in-Law has come to my house on numerous occasions and been appalled that I didn’t have a proper potato peeler or that I am missing the 3/4 measuring cup. (I am a full believer that estimation is a proper cooking technique. Besides, why do you need a 3/4cup measuring, too?! Can’t you just fill the full-cup 3/4 full?) Plus, I am literally unable to keep my sink clean or scrub toilets on a regular basis. I can not for the life of me figure out how real adults have clean bathrooms everyday.

Lady Parts 

How is it that I can be 34 years old and still have no idea when my period is going to start? And seriously, what is the deal with Soft Cups? How is it possible that I am totally uneducated about the newest in period paraphernalia? Maybe I need to consult the camp gyno. 


I am sure she has some tips for me.

Friend Parts 

I try really hard to be a great friend but sometimes I am mystified by the adults who can plan dinner parties, manage to look fantastic and mingle with every guest for just the right amount of time. The truth is, I forget to text people back. I have small undetectable panic attacks when someone calls because I am secretly terrified of awkward phone conversation. I AM an awesome gift giver... but will most likely give it to you weeks after your birthday. The only things I have seemed to learn about being an adult friend is that Showing Up is the most important thing you can do for someone and that taking your friend's kids for a night will endure her to you forever.

Mom Parts 

Twelve years into this mom gig and I wish I could tell you that I have it mastered, but I don’t. I compare myself with other moms and feel bad for my kids that I don’t cut their sandwiches into butterfly shapes or make them pancakes every morning. But here is the truth. I am really good at snuggling. I make amazing hot chocolate, and I will do cartwheels in the front yard for hours. I don’t do chore charts and my little tribe isn’t perfectly behaved, but we love each other like crazy. And my one saving grace, the thing that keeps my head above water in the mom department are my friends. Especially the ones that say, “me too.” Friends who assure me that hiding in the bathroom to eat the last brownie without having to share, is something we’ve all done. Mom friends make you feel more competent, and like this whole adulthood thing is a little more do-able.

So here is the only conclusion I have come to. I haven’t figured it all out but here is where I am heading... Could it be that the greatest myth of adulthood is that we should be able do everything on our own? Because if we can do this thing together I think I might have a chance.

I am not even close to mastering this adulthood thing. But one thing I know that makes it bearable are my friends. Friends make everything better.

So bring it on adulthood. Me and my friends are ready for you.


Friendship is necessary to do life!  Comment below about how friendship has helped you in the good, bad and ugly, and you will be automatically registered to win one of three MOPS memberships in our final day of 30 Days of Blogs We Love at MOPS.

Share your thoughts

Me, too! I don't know how people keep the bathroom clean. How often are you supposed to clean it? And how does the outside of the bowl get dirty?! It is very difficult for me to believe there are other moms out there like me. It was my first time having this gal over, or anyone from MOPS. She asked to use the bathroom and without thinking, I pointed it out to her. While she was in there, I realized I had done some business and was waiting for my daughter to finish on her little potty. I must have gotten side-tracked and hadn't flushed! When this potential mom-friend came out, I embarrassingly apologized and she was very gracious and said, "It's not like I've never done that before." And she was also the one that saw my less than neat kitchen table when first entering my home and said, "Oh good, we can be friends!"


Hahahha! Love the Camp Gyno!


So glad to know that I don't have to feel like a "fully functioning adult". Knowing that others feel this way lets me feel more like I can be real. . .and be loved.


The simple face that I can be open about "the good, the bad, and the ugly" with my friends says it all. And, my friends are still there after I go through (or make them go through!) the bad or the ugly. There truly are friends who stick closer than a brother!


One day my son and I were arguing outside. He yelled at me, "You're the meanest mom in the world!" I was in tears as I went back inside. And the phone rang. I picked it up and said, "Hello?" and the voice on the other end said, "You're NOT the meanest mom in the world." It was my neighbor/friend. She had heard the entire exchange and was calling to encourage me. LOVE her!


Love the reminder! I am so hard on myself I forget they are alive and loved, I try my best and sometimes that's all that's needed! Also I'm hoping my daughter miraculously becomes one of those clean bathroom ladies and starts her practice at home cause my bathroom could use it! Since she's only six I better not hold my breath!


I really needed to hear this today. I'm feeling overwhelmed and noting my failures over my strengths. Thank goodness for friends who love you with all your flaws and can find your inner gems of wisdom and strength (and then tell you about them--because honestly, I overlook those).


Friends help to put mothering into perspective! Through the shared joys and frustrations of motherhood, I am reminded that there is a season for all things and I am not walking at this alone.


My friendships get me through it all!! There's nothing like a "mommy confession thread" among my friends to remind me that everyone has struggles and feels like a bad mom sometimes!


I have no idea how adults have a clean toilet every day either! And my kids DEFINITELY don't have butterfly-shaped sandwiches. But I do my best, and that's what counts :) Nice article!


My best friend and I have been through a lot together and are always there for each other no matter what. We are both at different times in our lives, but that does not matter. We support each other all the way!


There are just some things I can't talk to my husband about. that's when a great girlfriend is really important! I've been through good & bad times with my closest friend over our 17 years of friendship. I love her and can't imagine my life with out her!