Link to Hello Darling on your blog!

<a href="http://www.mops.org/mom" title="Hello, Darling"><img src="http://www.mops.org/images/blog-share.jpg" alt="MOPS International blog" /></a>

Thanks for subscribing!

Get ready for a weekly digest of great stuff from our site!

Don't worry, if you get tired of us you can unsubscribe any time from your email preferences.

Whoops, we couldn't subscribe you

We have to know your email to subscribe you, so check that you're logged in or enter it in the box below.

If you don't have account yet, it is super easy to make one!

Whoops, we didn't quite catch that.

We don't allow anonymous comments, so check that you're logged in.

If you don't have account yet, it is super easy to make one!

Call for Writers: Marriage and Sex

by Jackie Alvarez

we love

June 27, 2014

Call for Writers: Marriage and Sex

You want to know what’s great about June, darling? Well, there are lots of things. But one of the great things about June is how Jubilant it is. That’s why we’re celebrating Jubilant June, by offering a giveaway every day for the next week. (Because nothing says jubilant like a giveaway, amiright?!) We have a wide variety of things to giveaway items – from books to pacifier holders to Smuckers Fruit-Fulls! Come back daily and celebrate June with us!


 

Today we’re giving away the beautiful wall hanging in the photo above. If you’re a writer, read on to see our current writing needs. If not, scroll to the bottom to get entered!


 

Writers, we need you. We are at our best over here at Hello, Darling when we have a variety of voices. For the month of August we’re going to be talking about marriage and sex, and we want to know what you have to say on the topic.

The Summer 2014 issue of Hello, Darling is focused on the Privilege of Femininity. We spent a lot of hours, and much heartache putting together what it means to be a woman, and now we want to keep that conversation going over topics more in depth.

Here are some topics that might spur some interest for you.

(But don’t feel limited by these sub-topics!)

Marriage

  • What does it mean to maintain a friendship in your marriage? And what does it take?
  • Maintaining a sense of individual identity
  • What are the biggest pitfalls in your marriage, and how do you remedy them?
  • If you were to say this one thing is a game changer in your marriage, what would it be?

Sex

  • The importance of sex in marriage
  • His needs, her needs
  • How do you manage varying levels of sex drives?
  • How do you create an environment of intimacy during sex so that each person’s needs are being met?
  • Scheduling sex dates, how to make space for sex with small children

Submission deadline: 3 July 2014

How to Submit

To add your voice to the conversation on marriage and sex, send your submission to content@MOPS.org.

Submission Information

For more information about the tone of our materials and our submission process go to www.mops.org/writers-guidelines. (Insider hint: We take these very seriously, so it’s important you take a peek before submitting.)

Submission Process

Just so you know, all articles are received on speculation. We will respond to all submissions when they are received to confirm submission and obtain submission agreement. If your article is selected for publishing, we will email you in advance with the date we will be publishing and the permalink.

And Since You Always Ask

Yes, you may send material that has been previously published. Just make sure it meets our editorial needs first. Because, again, we take those writer’s guidelines pretty seriously.


 

39 Months and Counting is an Etsy shop that provides simple endearments and tender touches for your home. Lacie is a MOPS mom who gave us this beautiful wall hanging to give to you! It’s (17.5 inches) x (10.5 inches) and we know you’re gonna love it. (Psst. Lacie is currently taking a break from her Etsy shop because she just had a baby, so this is your own chance to own this beautiful piece!) 

 

Readers, what do you want us to cover when we talk about marriage and sex in August?

Share your thoughts

ways to connect on a deeper level in conversation in a short amount of time

Reply

Excellent idea. Opportunities for long, deep conversations are limited with littles.

Reply

I would love to know of some good devotional books that my husband and I can do together as a couple. Don't want books that require a ton of homework just some good questions and reading.

Reply

Great idea, Kindra!

Reply

Inexpensive date ideas.

Reply

Essential! Thank you for the idea.

Reply

Tips or suggestions to block out the list making while in the moment.

Reply

An important topic! Thanks for sharing.

Reply

Being/getting on the same page... often one feels fine with how things are but the other feels something is lacking (both everyday and sex and not always the same one so it's kinda hard to pinpoint).

Reply

Communication is a huge topic and being on the same page is a big part of it. Great topic!

Reply

Keeping your marriage from turning into just being roommates who take care of kids.

Reply

That is a great topic! It can be easy to slip into roommate mode!

Reply

Easy, inexpensive date ideas for someone who likes dinner and a movie, but wants something a little different :)

Reply

It's easy to get stuck in a date rut! I think date night creative ideas is a great idea! Thanks!

Reply

Identity shifts and impact on the relationship (i.e. going from financially independent bread winner to stay at home mom)

Reply

It is hard to have those identity shifts! Great topic idea!

Reply

How to keep that spark in your marriage while raising a family.

Reply

This is a topic that is so important and I think we all could use some ideas. Thank you!

Reply

How to stay intimate when there is no energy left to give at the end of the day.

Reply

It it so hard when you both are so exhausted! I know most moms feel this way! Thanks.

Reply

Ways to work around wanting different things in the bedroom.

Reply

That is a topic that I think a lot of people struggle with. That is a great topic to discuss!

Reply

In home date ideas- we have a nursing baby that won't take a bottle so we can't leave him with a sitter yet...

Reply

Yes, there are so many people who have very creative at home date nights! It would be great to hear those ideas! Thanks.

Reply

Tips and guidance for when your marriage seems just a little boring!

Reply

Absolutely, ideas to put the spark back in the marriage is always good!

Reply

Date ideas on a budget

Reply

Date night can be SO expensive! It's always good to hear ideas about how to make a date night cheaper!

Reply

How to get kids to understand the need for mom and dad time, like a date night or afternoon out.

Reply

We are constantly trying to remind our kids that mom and dad time is also important! It would be great to hear more ideas to help kids understand that! Thank you for the idea!

Reply

Date night at home ideas.

Reply

It always great to hear about creative ways to have a nice date at home!

Reply

Date ideas!

Reply

Yes, date ideas are always great to hear about!

Reply

Tips on how to get hubby more involved in our marriage without sounding like nagging or taking the lead.

Reply

It is hard to make suggestions with out sounding like you are nagging! This is a good topic to hear about!

Reply

Keeping priorities in marriage - God, Husband, Kids...it seems like the kids can too easily take priority.

Reply

Yes, you are right, it is easy to get these priorities mixed up!

Reply

Yes, it is way too easy to get those switched around. It often tends to go Kids, Husband, God. Yikes!

Reply

The impact of health on a marriage

Reply

Sarah, do you mean when somebody is struggling with health issues? That is a great topic and something that can add a lot of stress in a marriage.

Reply

Sorry, haven't been on in a long time! Yes, I mean long term health issues. For example, my husband's health, particularly digestive, has deteriorated greatly over the course of our union. We have different opinions on what should be done or tried. Yes, it is his health, but since I do the cooking, the bulk of planning/preparing responsibility falls on me. I could go on, but, suffice it to say, it is a MAJOR stress in our marriage.

Reply

Practical tips on strengthening marriage

Reply

It's always good to hear ideas that can help strengthen our marriages! Thank you!

Reply

I would love to read some simple, practical, 5 minute ideas on how to make the mental shift from being stay at home mom to two littles to being just my husband's girl.

Reply

I like the idea of 5 min ideas to switch roles, thank you for the suggestion!

Reply

How to deal with wanting your husband to pursue "knowing" you, not in a physical sense but emotionally. Sure when you're dating they put effort into it but add 3 little kids to the mix and the chaos of life and it's rare to have a lot of heart to heart conversations.

Reply

That is so true! Even when a good conversation is started, often times it's interrupted by the kids! Great topic idea.

Reply

Creative ways people have found to be intimate when you have kids waking at all hours

Reply

Sometimes you defiantly need some creativity! Thank you for the topic idea!

Reply

Reply

How do you keep "the flame" burning with 3 small children and a husband who works 12 hour days and comes home exhausted (to an exhausted wife)?

Reply

That is so hard! My hubby and I have had years when dealt with this to. Thank you for the topic idea!

Reply

Just ways to give to each other when giving to children seems first and foremost right now.

Reply

It is so hard to think of your hubby's needs when the kids are right in front of you with their needs. Thank you for the topic idea.

Reply

How to keep our marriage a priority while taking care of little ones! They are a blessing, but also require every ounce of energy and time we have. Thank you!

Reply

Yes, this is a hard balance for sure! Thank you for the topic idea.

Reply

Success stories of women who have been there already and overcome some of these battles and the actual, practical strategies they used instead of vague advice and platitudes.

Reply

Thank you for being specific about this interesting topic! I think it would be great to hear from women who are on the other side of little kid phase.

Reply

I am reading a book right now called Intimate Issues by two pastor's wives and it specifically addresses a lot of the questions shared below. It's very good so far and has been helpful for me! I wish I could write something for possible publishing because I feel like my experiences could maybe help someone but I'm not a very good writer and the deadline is only 4 days away. Why not send out the invitation earlier?

Reply

Go ahead and try anyway! I know it's a short turn around, but give us your best shot! We would love to hear your story and learn from you!

Reply

Men's needs from their wives in order for them to treat us like queens

Reply

Good idea! It would be great to get a mans perspective on this! Thank you for the idea!

Reply

How to practice intimacy when one of you travels for work and when you come home to little people

Reply

Man, having little kids makes it challenging enough, add it a traveling spouse and I can imagine how hard that is. Great topic idea, thanks!

Reply

Dealing with a postpartum induced limited sex drive (but still very much attracted) and/or sex while raising little ones.

Reply

Great topic! I know most moms have dealt with this a lot! Thanks for the idea!

Reply

How to be creative with little ones in your house (or bedroom!)

Reply

Yes, this is a great topic! Having little ones running around can make it challenging to be creative!

Reply

How do you mentally "turn off" the to-do list in your head so you can focus and allow yourself to be "turned on" by your hubby?

Reply

Good question! Sometimes it's hard to focus only on your hubby when you feel like there is so much to do!

Reply

Ideas on how to make me feel like a woman again and not a "dead mommy."

Reply

It's easy to loose our identity when we have kids. Good idea for a topic, thank you!

Reply

Tips on how to turn off my mommy brain and switch on my sexy wife brain would be helpful!

Reply

Great topic! It's hard to go from singing nursery rhymes at bedtime to sexy wife brain!

Reply

How to feel sexy when the your wardrobe now consists of yoga pants and nursing tops.

Reply

Yes, our babies sure do change our bodies, UGH! Great topic, thanks!

Reply

Tips on how to make marriage a priority with little kids in the house. I often feel like even though I know marriage should come first it's the kids and their needs that come first, then our marriage just takes what time is left. How pathetic is that!?

Reply

That is so easy to do because the kids' needs are right there (and often very loud)!. Great topic idea, thanks!

Reply

Being connected and intimate when so tired after being home all day with kiddos. Ways to combat the "I have been touched all day by kiddos and now need my space so no touchy for hubby" feelings.

Reply

Absolutely! I used to think I was a "touchy" person until I had kids and I just didn't want anybody to touch me anymore at the end of the day.Great topic idea, thanks!

Reply

In august I would love to hear about how other moms find time at the end of a busy day to still connect with their husband.

Reply

We have had a couple of people as about this topic. Definitely one that many people struggle with. Thanks!

Reply

Quick question on the call for submissions: are they articles for the magazine or blog? I noticed in the Writer's Guidelines that the word counts are different, so I wanted to clarify. Thanks!

Reply

It is for the blog. Thanks for clarifying!

Reply

Staying connected as a couple while working two jobs and taking care of three kids!

Reply

Great topic! It's so hard with everybody's busy schedule and staying connected! Sometimes I feel like once we finally figure it out and are doing well, the schedules all change again and we have to start all over! Thanks for the idea.

Reply

How to help get out and stay out of a rut. We hardly talk; our routine when hubby gets home is dinner, get ready for bed, then bed. We have hardly any room in the budget for a date even once a month. We are so stuck in the blab routine that I think we are growing restless and bored. Communication is nil unless it was a fight, and the kids sap all attention and energy...

Reply

This is a great topic that I know a lot of people struggle with.Thanks for the idea! I know how easy it is to get stuck in a rut.

Reply

How to support your husband when it seems that everything in your lives are out of control.

Reply

Great topic, Erika. It's challenging to give him the support he needs when you are just trying to survive a season chock full of chaos.

Reply

Working through infidelity, becoming vulnerable again.

Reply

We had a married couple who survived infidelity give a workshop at MOMcon last year. I agree this is an important topic to cover.

Reply

Tips for incorporating prayer intoartiage

Reply

I know a lot of people who have asked about a similar topic. Great idea, thanks!

Reply

I have been hearing and reading a lot lately about the changing roles of men and women when it comes to chores in the household. I would love to hear some things about that!

Reply

By "change" do you mean I might get to watch more HGTV and do less laundry? Count me in, Laresa!

Reply

Me, too!

Reply

The importance of staying connected with your spouse when you aren't the same person you married. We all change as we get older & have children!

Reply

Great idea for a topic that many people struggle with! Having children definitely changes us!

Reply

Ideas for staying connected when there's no money in the budget for babysitting.

Reply

Right on! I'm desperate enough to hold my own lemonade stand to raise funds. We DESERVE a night out with our men once in awhile, right ladies?

Reply

Absolutely! My hubby and I try to go out at least every other week. It has become apparent since we began doing so that we should have been doing this all along! It has brought a newness to our relationship and helps us remember that in the end it will just be the two of us again and we don't want to wonder who the other person is when we have an empty best!

Reply

Sara you have just helped me at a biggie to my "Big Move" bucket list (we're relocating to a new state in about 10 days): DATE NIGHT twice a month, no excuses. I actually like my husband, why oh why don't we get out more??

Reply

How to put hubby first when all I want to do when he gets home from work is escape to Target!

Reply

Get a babysitter and go to Target TOGETHER. Who doesn't love Target??

Reply

After a physically traumatic childbirth all forms of sex were painful for me. I'd love to hear how other women who have faced similar challenges maintained their marriage.

Reply

Don't give up! I think so many women face challenges like this for many reasons. You are not alone. From time to time we have a sexpert join us for Let's Talk, Darling webinars. We'll keep concerns like this in mind.

Reply

How to be interested when I just have so much else to do!

Reply

Yes, that's a great topic! Sometimes it seems like one more thing on the to do list.

Reply

How to manage a sex life when co-sleeping with a baby. Suggestions on ways to distract your kids or perfect times to not be interrupted by the kids.

Reply

Nothing like insistent knocks on the door from your five year old when you are right in the middle of... Well - you know!

Reply

When I stopped complaining that my needs weren't being met and started understanding how I could meet his better was a complete game changer. It was absolutely necessary to put the shoe on the other foot. I afforded us the opportunity to shift our whole perspective on love, making love and a life together. What are some other ways women have made changes to their approach in marriage to create a new dynamic in their lives?

Reply

This is a great point! So often we look at what we can get rather than what we can give! And when a man's need are meet he is better able to meet ours.

Reply

I would like to see how to want to have sex when you have no interest.

Reply

Sex drive ebbs and flows for sure, and I have mom friends who are anywhere on the scale from never-wanna-do-it to can't get enough. This would be a great topic to cover.

Reply

Thoughts on when the wife has a higher sexual drive than husband.

Reply

I totally have friends in this situation! I think the cliche is that men are the randy ones and we just go along for the ride. This is not always true, for sure.

Reply

I'd like to hear about ideas for reigniting the spark. It's so hard to find the energy to devote time alone to one another.

Reply

We could cover this topic weekly and it would never get old! Thank you for suggesting this.

Reply

I would love to see a topic on how to want to have sex when you have no interest at all. Pretty much to the point that it does nothing for me. Also maybe on how to want to have sex without just wanting to have sex to make children. Pretty sure that is the only time i am actually interested. Would love to see anything on spending more time with the husband with little ones around..(i am some what attached to my child and have not spent much time with out her). How to keep things fresh and interesting with the little ones around. Thanks. Looking forward to all of the topics

Reply

That's tough, and I have a friend in the same boat. Sex does absolutely nothing for her. This is something worth talking about with an expert here at MOPS in an article or webinar, and it is also well worth talking to a qualified therapist and/or OBGYN - by yourself, and with your husband. You are not alone.

Reply

I would love to read more on it. Good to know I am not alone. I just figured it was me and I have issues. lol I have thought about it but of course am to chicken to even think of talking to anyone about it. This is the first time I have said anything to anyone about it. lol One step ahead i guess!

Reply

I promise you there are other women dealing with the same frustration. And although it feels awkward and vulnerable - when you do work up the courage to talk to your OBGYN about your challenges in this department, it'll be so worth it! Sex is not the only form of intimacy with your spouse, but when it is working well it is a valuable part of the equation. And I think you'll find your OB will not be shocked by what you have to say - he or she has no doubt heard it all. Your concerns are normal and it is okay to talk about them with someone. A healthy sex life is one of the privileges of married life - you deserve that. Take courage! Talking about it here is a good first step to being more comfortable talking to a professional about it.

Reply

I'd like to read about how to allow the man a presiding role while still helping him to be a better person.

Reply

It's always a tough balance. Thanks for the topic idea!

Reply

My hubby always wants to fix our problems with more sex! I need more from him emotionally. It turns into a ficious cycle. How do I fix this on my end?

Reply

It's how guys are weird. Get the book Love and Respect and it explains a lot about what a guy needs verses what a girl needs in the sex department.

Reply

That's funny - I find that sex fixes a lot of things for HIM, but it certainly doesn't fix any of my issues. This isn't an issue I deal with, but I'm thinking lots of my girlfriends probably do!

Reply

What is it with them?!? This drives me crazy.

Reply

I'd like to hear from others who have faced challenges with sex during struggles with infertility. It was difficult for the hubs & me to find balance, & I'd like to know I wasn't the only one.

Reply

I know you aren't the only one! My hubby and I tried for two years and finally conceived. I know it's even tougher for some. Ovulation schedules and what not do not exactly heighten the romance. This would be a great discussion to add next time we invite a sexpert over to chat.

Reply

How it takes much more than "I do" to make a marriage.

Reply

Good topic idea! I know sometimes once the "honeymoon" is over people are surprised how much work a marriage takes.

Reply

How to "want to" when you real don't "want to" :)

Reply

I think every one of us needs a refresher on this one once in awhile.

Reply

Fantastic and important topic! I can't wait to read!

Reply

Thanks! We hope to get some good ideas!

Reply

I'm looking forward to reading what's written on these topics!!

Reply

Me too!

Reply

Please cover submission to your husband in marriage.

Reply

Hey Jackqulynn, thanks so much for the feedback!

Reply

Resoures on the subject

Reply

What do you mean by "resources"? Can you be more specific?

Reply