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Bad Mommy Moments

by Erin Smalley

honestly

April 23, 2014

Bad Mommy Moments

Last week I was sitting at work in my “happy place.” I had a cup of Sweet and Spicy tea in one hand and was about to open my emails that needed some attention with the other hand. I had already eliminated three of the many piles in my cubicle (any other “pilers” out there?). I was so thankful that my girlfriend had volunteered to pick Annie up from kindergarten so I could really get a lot accomplished. I glanced down at my watch and saw 3:27pm. I knew that I should be remembering something, but nothing came to me. I continued working—and then it hit—“GARRISON!” I had forgotten my son! My stomach flipped as I realized that I had arranged for Annie to go home with my friend, but had completely forgottn about arranging something for my 12 year old son, Garrison. I literally threw my hands up, grabbed my cell phone and purse and began running toward the door in a panic!

I frantically dialed my 16 year old daughter, Murphy. She said, “Mom, relax. I’ll go and pick Garrison up!” He would never know that his mommy forgot him! Then it hit—the Bad Mommy Award! How could I? Who forgets to pick up their own child?” My thoughts spiraled and ended with, I wonder how soon he will start dealing with the abandonment issues?

Hello Darling, Welcome to the Bad Mommy Moments!

I have plenty of Bad Mommy Moments – locking Garrison in the car as an infant—with his car seat undone; locking us out of the house again and again and again; forgetting to send the food items to the Christmas party at school with Taylor in 2nd grade; not ordering a yearbook in time for Murphy in 5th grade—and she didn’t have one on the signing day; or my favorite, leaving the house frustrated and driving just a wee bit too fast and hitting ice on the roundabout in front of our house and taking out the light pole. I am certain you have your list as well. 

I’ve made a decision. After this past slight error, I am no longer going to receive anymore self-inflicted Bad Mommy Awards. I have choices with how I can respond to my mistakes. I can offer myself the grace and compassion I often quickly give others, or I can continue condemning myself for not being perfect. In those Bad Mommy Moments, I am going to do what I can do to make it right and then move on, recalling all the fabulous things you do as a mom each and every day. Anyone want to join me?


 

What are your most recent “bad mommy moments” you’re trying to laugh about?

Related topics: Perfection, Erin, Encouraging

Share your thoughts

We had the opportunity this year to take our three kids (5, 3, and 3 months) to the circus. In my excitement to park and get inside, I left the baby in her seat! I started walking away holding the boys' hands all while WEARING the baby carrier, with no baby inside! My husband questioned me about the baby, and I started crying, realizing what I had done. That was the first time I've forgotten one of my kids. Pretty good for this tired mama of three!

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I haven't had a chance to forget my daughter somewhere yet as she's only 3...but I've had many moments I thought, what did I just do! I'm just a mom, still human and imperfect.

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Oh, I have had more than my fair share....there are times when those frustrated words come out of my mouth, and I am already convicted they are wrong as I say them...but yet they continue coming. Is this really the overflow on my heart? I caught myself one day in the past week just starting out on the wrong foot, and I realized I had not put God first, and it just continued on a quick downhill trip. So grateful I caught myself before it got later in the day. That was not such a funny time, but was a learning experience for me. Also, any of you probably know, any wrong word or tone you use comes back in those little parrots we call kids. :)

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Losing track of the time and not feeding my little guys lunch until 2pm!

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I lose my patience when my daughter uses her potty mouth and then starts yelling the words.....

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When I'm not understood, I become a yeller. Bad mommy moments.

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I fell down the stairs holding my baby son...twice. Both times he was fine, but I beat myself up worse than the stairs beat me up. I also didn't snap his car seat into his stroller right when he was a newborn and it ended up face down on the floor at Target, with him in it.He was still strapped in and sleeping when I turned it over, but I thought he was knocked out. I definitely felt like a bad mommy.

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I have my moments too, but my husband reminds me that nobody else loves my kids as much as we do. I don't have infinite patience and I have needs that go unmet because I'm taking care of the kids first. I try not to define myself by the times that I fall short of being the parent I want to be.

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This morning I told my kids that I was going to transfer them to the Catholic school since they didn't get in the car the first time I said it was time to go.

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Spending lots of time online

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I lost it on my kids when I couldn't find the keys to my car. It was pickup time and I was already late, I blamed the kids for hiding them but they didn't I left on the couch.

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I work to remind myself that I am only human when I lose my patience. And I also work on NOT losing my patience!

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Spending too much time online... then turning around to find the living room in total toy chaos, remembering I had intended to start cooking supper "just after I check for this one email," forgetting to get my son started on homework until 8 p.m., running late and dropping my daughter off in the church nursery without her hair combed or face washed... I'm sure I could think of a hundred more, but that's not the point, is it? The point is to forgive myself for these things, remind myself that I'm not perfect, and just try my best to be the mom God created me to be. Scatterbrained, but full of love for my kids!

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yelling oh man I hate it when I yell at my kids

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I turned the TV on so that I can finish addressing my Christmas cards.

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Seeing my daughter standing in her carseat... While driving through a snowstorm. Worst ever.

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I want to win!

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Disciplining my raising my voice vs. dropping whatever is filling my hands or occupying my focus to address the situation.

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potty training regression is providing me with enough bad mommy moments to last until the preteen years.

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Getting upset at my kids for little things and making my 3 year old daughter cry. It was a miscommunication between us, but I got to impatient and frustrated.

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Raising my voice too often at things that really don't matter... especially at bedtime. Its not the version of me I want my son to remember as he falls asleep.

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I took my son to preschool in his slippers. Opps ;)

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Last weekend I put my daughter in time out only to realize later that it was my husbands fault and not my daughters

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I flipped out on my 6 year old and called her a spoiled brat. Not one of my finest moments. I went and apologized soon after, but I still feel bad about it.

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I often hit my boiling point with my 4 year old! He just is potty trained and now having accidents A LOT more! I thought we got through this and now it's almost worse, why is he regressing?? I yell more than I should and just really frustrated with him constantly wanting things, but yet I want him potty trained! I have forgotten to put to put him into a certain color outfit for school and have forgotten other things, but I guess my "bad mommy" is stressing out about things that might not matter!!

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We are dealing with the same issue. He was potty trained for 6 months following his 3rd birthday, then starting having more and more accidents. After a few months of constant stress and meltdowns (mine, mostly), I put him back in diapers and am just waiting it out at this point. He just turned 4 last week so I hope we get through this soon.

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My son was 4 years and 3 months before he was potty trained! We have been working on it for over a year! He wasn't mentally ready, he's a super busy kid and doesn't stop to potty! Hang in there!

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Thank you for the reminder. The other day my daughter (age 5) kept reminding me the day was Friday and she had dance. I replied repeatedly "No, today is Thursday". To only slow down later that evening.. she was correct. It was Friday and she missed her dance class!

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On Saturday we had a few activities planned, well...let's just say my son had pure sugar all day long because of being on the go.

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I put my son in time out during a party and forgot that he was there! About 20 minutes later I asked him why he was sitting on the stairs and he said 'Mommy, can I get out of time out now?' I felt awful! Thankfully, he thought it was hysterical. He laughed at me and told me I was silly. He even told me I needed a hug to make me feel better. I love this kid!

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I forgot my daughter on Halloween day!! It was a half day of school but it completly slipped my mind! I went about my day, threw some pumpkin seeds in to roast. All of a sudden the school called and I answered. They said we have Molly here in the office, still clueless I said oh no is she feeling sick? They said, no it is a half day! You need to pick her up!! Worst part is I was there earlier in the day for the school parade!!!!!!!!

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I think it's great that you do these giveaways!

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