1. You look good.
Not all men can look as polished as Bradley Cooper. However, when I am specific and say things like, “I love when you wear your dark jeans and the red plaid shirt,” they feel more assured of themselves. Wives can also boost their husband’s self-esteem when saying, “I love your hair short. It makes you look sexy.”
2. You’re a great dad.
I get repeated results when attaching examples to compliments. “Carson loved when you read to him” or “The girls cannot wait for you to pick them up from school.” When I encourage with specifics, the action is often repeated.
3. Do I look okay?
If I cannot decide on which shoe I like best with an outfit I will ask, “Which shoe looks better?” I will also ask, “Do you like my hair back in a ponytail or down?” Don’t assume when they give you their answer the other choice was horrible! Next week they may love the ponytail.
4. I’m so proud of you.
Attaching a feeling to an encouragement gratifies husbands. “When you start dinner for me it makes me feel less stressed” and “I appreciate your working so hard. It makes me feel secure” are great examples.
5. Not tonight.
If I always waited until I was in the mood before I did anything - nothing would be accomplished. I like to give rain checks instead of leaving my husband feeling rejected. “I would love to meet you at 9:00, tomorrow night, in our bedroom.” Send them an appointment to their online calendar or text a sexy message.
6. You never _________.
I find when I ask for help with chores or for a date night instead of expecting him to take action automatically, he is usually willing. On the other hand, telling him he always leaves the milk out or that we never spend time together puts him in defense mode.
Hand specifics out liberally, give choices, schedule sex and never stop loving your spouse or working on your marriage. Happy couple alert!
Linda Vujnov is married with 4 children, a girl, 20, and three boys, 17, 12 and 10. She is a writer, speaker, avid jogger and Christ follower.
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