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5 Things I Refuse to Feel Guilty for As a Mother

by Emily Wierenga

honestly

May 28, 2014

5 Things I Refuse to Feel Guilty for As a Mother

I believe in the mother-instinct.

I believe in GUT, versus GUILT.

 

So here are five things in particular I refuse to apologize for.

I will not feel guilty for letting my kids watch some television.

It allows me to read my Bible in the morning and drink a mug of hot coffee, to take care of myself and center my day around the One who made it–and so yes, I will put on a show. And I might put one on in the evening before supper, too, because we’re all sick of each other and needing Daddy to come home and it’s raining outside. Granted, we use Netflix, because it doesn’t bombard my kids with commercials, and I also try to choose programs like Super Why or Sesame Street, which teach my kids things, but sometimes they watch Curious George too, and that’s okay. Everything in moderation.

I will not feel guilty for disciplining my children.

I weep for the lawless sons and daughters who are ruling the earth, who say they don’t feel like doing something and then get away with not doing it. I will not hurt my child, but I will discipline him when something he says or does either hurts someone else or goes against our house rules because children thrive off consistency and communication.Love is both boundaries and boundless affection. 

I will not feel guilty for making food as enjoyable as possible.

I don’t believe in waste, but I also believe food should be enjoyed. I don’t believe in kids getting to eat dessert if they haven’t finished their supper; however, I am teaching my children to listen to their tummies and if they’re full, I will not force them to finish their main course (they still don’t get dessert, though!). I try hard to feed nutritious food, but I also bake chocolate chip cookies and let my boys have “treats” or “rewards” when they do a chore or go on the potty. I want my boys to be aware and convicted that millions of children go to bed hungry every night; however, I also want them to delight in food and to see it as a gift.

I will not feel guilty for standing up for “the least of these” in my child’s presence.

For making a fool of myself on behalf of someone who is an underdog, for fighting for the rights of another human being, for appearing “odd” or “weird” while protecting and defending a person who is being hurt. I will fight, and let my sons see what it means to bring justice to a broken world. I will not worry about what others say or think; I will do my best as a mother and as a human to love mercy and seek justice and walk humbly with my God.

I will not feel guilty for being a working mom.

Granted, I get to work from home–but it still “takes me away” from my kids for a couple of hours every day, and allows me to express the fullness of the gifts God has given me-gifts which continue to serve, and which allow my children to see Mom as a holistic person. I refuse to put my needs over my kids’; however, I also believe that some space from Mommy is good for both of us. Good for them to know that they can trust Mommy will always be there for them–but not necessarily right beside them. And good for me to recognize that I need that space so I can, in turn, be a better mother.

Moms, we are child-bearers and home-makers and creators in all senses of the word… so let’s stand tall, with our heads high, because we can trust the true Life-Giver who knows our children better than any of us.


So, keep loving and diapering and nurturing, keep believing and hoping and daring to trust the gut God has given you.

Because you are a good mom. And your children need you. Desperately. 


 

Emily T. Wierenga is an award-winning journalist, blogger, commissioned artist and columnist, as well as the author of five books including Atlas Girl: Finding Home in the Last Place I Thought to Look (Baker Books). She lives in Alberta, Canada with her husband and two sons. For more info, please visitemilywierenga.com. Find her on Twitter or Facebook.


 


What things do you refuse to feel guilty about?

 

Related topics: Technology, Reality, Mom, Job, Guilty, Emily , Eat, Blog

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I will not feel guilty for saying, "No." As much as I love saying yes to my son, to my husband, to my colleagues, to women at church and women at MOPS, they are not the guardians of my time and sanity. I want my "yes's" to be free and lovely and plentiful, which requires a lot of "no's" as well.

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I refuse to feel guilty that I'm a stay home mom with no kids at home anymore. They're gone for 6 hours and the time flies by...going to the gym to keep myself healthy, getting started making dinner, working on volunteer activities, plus housework. I also refuse to feel guilty for allowing my daughter to skip soccer practice last night. She had 2 games the night before, so I felt it was enough.

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LOVE! Thanks for sharing Jennifer! e. (www.emilywierenga.com)

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I love this post!! I refuse to be guilty for being an involved mom. For being on the Board of a non-profit, steering for MOPS, youth group leader, business owner etc. Being a stay-at-home mom does not have to mean I stay home :)

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Amen! Love this Tawnda! e. (www.emilywierenga.com)

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LOVE this! I refuse to feel guilty for being a stay at home mom and allowing my family to be a one income family. I get a lot of flack from others about how I could let my husband carry that financial burden but you know what? I refuse to feel guilty about it because as a team we made this choice and as a team we are trusting the Lord Almighty to provide for us financially and He always does! I also will not feel guilty about disciplining my children!! thank you so much for stating that because sometimes I feel like the worst mom for setting boundaries and expectations! Glad to know I am not the only one!

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This is beautiful Samantha. Love your heart! e. (www.emilywierenga.com)

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I refuse to feel guilty about doing things differently than my mother did.

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Great answer Becky! Bless you, e. (www.emilywierenga.com)

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Love this so much! Mother's guilt is absolutely one of the worst things in the world and it is so easy to let it control us if we aren't careful. One thing I refuse to feel guilty about is NOT buying my kids the junk that is in the checkout aisles at the grocery store! They love to look at all of the candy and little toys and ask me over and over for just one thing (and one time my daughter even licked something so I would buy it for her), but I am consistent about saying no to those things. We are on a budget, plus I don't want them to think they get something every time we go to the grocery store.

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Awesome, love this Laresa! Bless you, e. (www.emilywierenga.com)

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Perfect, Emily! I am with you. Thank you for always sharing your heart and life authentically. Encouraged by your example.

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Thank you for your encouragement dear Becky. Bless you! e. (www.emilywierenga.com)

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I refuse to feel guilty about being a working Mom. Working outside and inside the home has brought into my life a unique opportunity to trust God and others. I naturally like to do everything myself- but I can't. God has given me an awesome flexible job and He knows the desires of my heart. Everyday God and I have a conversation about how to handle my time best. The days where my kiddos seem a bit off- I make sure to work from home so I can have lunch with my 6 year old. I schedule a day off so that my two year old and I can have more 1:1 time. Some days I am blessed to give my husband and sons Daddy-Son time because I have to work extra hours. Some days I am blessed to strengthen a friendship by having a stay at home Mama friend watch my boys for a few hours. And some days, (much to my boy's joy)- they are given a Movie-Day on a Saturday so I can catch up. I refuse to feel guilty about being a working Mom because it has brought me closer to God, my husband, my kiddos and to others.

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Love! Thanks for sharing, e. (www.emilywierenga.com)

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